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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in the "Misty" journal:[<< Previous 20 entries]
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11:53 pm
[Link] | I am officially retiring my livejournal. I never come here anymore, though I still have a pretty substantial web presence. I am not deleting this place, and my email will still notify me if someone leaves a post here. I am on deviant art as Anivasion, myspace as the same name too. I hope to see some of you at these places or somewhere else on this crazy blue marble.
We came to know each other through anime. And music videos. The org's decision to become a douchebag site of elite amv only topics put the first nail in the coffin. Growing up and older did the rest. So, we all have a lot less in common anymore. It makes it hard to stay buddies when you don't talk, you have nothing to talk about.
But, I am still around if you want to say hi. And I miss those days a lot.
See you all elsewhere! Bye.
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06:04 am
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Pictures
These are a couple pieces of practice art I did recently. You can't get away with working with colors like these in most other art, so at least it's fun.
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12:32 am
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braiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiins
In the spirit of halloween, or something, I have joined the ranks of the mindless undead.
By that, I mean I now have a myspace account.
http://www.myspace.com/anivasion
If any of you have one, friend me, or tell me your name and I will friend you. For some reason, people I knew as friends back in the day who aren't interested in livejournal have accounts there. Go figure.
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03:34 pm
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Entry for October 21st 2008
Last night, had my first dream about Charlotte.
She appeared before me, it was near a playground and one I do no recognize. I was very happy to see her. I hugged her and asked her where she was, knowing that she was no longer living in this world. She never spoke during the entire dream. I kept asking though, was there an afterlife, should there be something I should think about? But, I didn't get answers.
I knew she wanted to go to my brother and took her to him. He was shocked and threw down what he was holding and hugged her. She hugged back. But then, she seemed annoyed with something and he was confused. She held a needle in her hand and showed it to him.
She then walked away, past me, and didn't disappear but she was gone still.
I think my brain is torturing me. Look at what day it is.
I miss her a lot. Sometimes when I am just sitting there, I'll think about her conversations with me or her laugh and then it hits me as hard as ever she's gone. It doesn't feel like only a month has passed. It feels like so much longer.
I still have emails in my gmail from her, which is very weird. I archived them all since I don't know what to do with them, but I know I can't look at them. I also have video and pictures, but I can't bring myself to play them.
I'm doing a couple things in the future which I hope will honor her memory. On her birthday every year, I plan to release some balloons with a small protected photo and short story about her, and release them to go where they will. Kevin and I are buying a memorial tree for her at Dawes Arboretum in Newark ohio for her too. It will be in the Japanese garden area. When her family visited, from California and Japan during her funeral, my brother took them there.
You'd think that dealing with death like this would make me more afraid of it, but I already dealt with the reality of it being the complete end a long time ago. Most people don't really realize how imminent it is until it hits close to home. Then they go nuts with religion, and I know of a few people who have become almost consumed with religion after they see this happen.
But, like I said, I realized it years ago. Oddly, this experience has made me less afraid. I almost look forward to it, not the death itself, but the experience of it. Why? Because I need to understand what she went through. She wasn't atheist, but she was not affiliated with any religious doctrine. Despite this, she may have gone through what people do during the NDE near death experience. I...want to think that for a few brief moments, she thought she was comforted and was with her parents and her son, even if it wasn't real. Her life was so short and so unfair, I want to think that at the end, she felt something accomplished, even if it was the finite reunion with her departed loved ones.
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09:20 pm
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Sky diving
The following is a post I am putting several places. After losing Charlotte, I thought about not doing it, since she was supposed to be there and wouldn't be, and it was going to be fun. And to celebrate my 30th birthday. Despite the emotional and financial difficulties, it was something I would only ever have once; my 30th birthday. And I know she would be mad at me and upset for causing me to change plans I had for something I had decided over 2 years ago.
Well, we went. And it was at the in Orient Ohio. The people who work there and set this up are the best. They made it so easy, I felt completely safe in their experience and track record and they were just all around great, professional people. Obviously, I can only have one first tandem skydive experience, but I couldn't imagine it being any better than doing it there. Thanks all of you guys, I don't remember your names, but that speaks for how great of an experience you gave me that the jump itself made such an impact on me. One of you asked me if it changed my life. Well, I can't say yes, but I will tell you that it may have changed my outlook on a lot of things, and so it may very well change my life too.
***********
The day of the sky dive was supposed to be on my birthday, but in Columbus Ohio instead of Las Vegas. Thanks to the rapid death of the no frills discount airlines for this.
It was moved to the 5th instead because we had to drive of 6 hours and didn't get moving until really freaking late. We didn't get into Ohio until very very late. My jump was scheduled for 9 AM, needed to be there by 8, and the drive was an hour and a half from our segue point. At 6 AM, we called to reschedule later in the day, but they were busy until the next day.
At noon the following day, I arrived (well, a half hour early) to ready myself for the jump.
I was thinking about what could go wrong, of course, but this company has done tons of jumps and never had a death. They had someone break their ankle upon landing, but it was routine and she had done jumps before and no one really understood how she did it to herself. So, the average of an injury a year was broken already and the statistics were on my side.
I wasn't scared at all. I wasn't shaking, nervous, nothing....maybe I am partially insane or something. The most I had was a dry mouth so I just drank a little bit of water before I left.
The plane was a Cessna 182 and it wasn't like I imagined. The door opens upwards and you had to get yourself onto a tiny platform attached to the wheel strut and the wing, to do the actual jump in the air. The guy who helped me suit up (in a gray/green military looking jumpsuit which was cool) took me through the process on the ground. I went over this in my mind a lot, since this is where problems would arise if at all.
I would sit right behind the pilot, my back to him. The seats had been removed. It would only be me, the guy who was my tandem partner and a guy who was videotaping it all. (We didn't have the money to pay for this, but theyy agreed to take it and we'll pay for it as soon as possible and I'll probably upload -parts- of it to youtube. I'm a video editor too, so I will be taking out a lot probably, I belong on the other side of the camera!) At a specific altitude, I would flip over, be strapped to the instructor, and fight the wind to get onto the tiny platform while holding onto the wing while he gets in place behind me. Then rock out, back and then launch and arch, belly first, away from the plane.
These instructions I repeated in my head again and again. I was pretty focused, but the thought of making a mistake and doing something wrong scared me....the actual jump was what I was looking forward to, and not scared of that; I'm an adrenaline junkie, so this explains my lack of fear I think.
I only thought of death one time on the way up. It was right as the plane taxied and throttled up to fly, on the runway. I thought "Well, this will either go fine or the paper tomorrow will read "3 skydivers were killed today...." Why 3? Well, most skydiving deaths occur in the plane.
After this, I just enjoyed the ride up. I was excited, the guys with me work there so this was just a 20 minute break I guess, because my tandem partner looked like they were napping on the way up. It didn't feel like 20 minutes to me. I pretty much left my concept of time on the ground.
So, we get to the right height. I will interrupt briefly to say a little bit about Kevin. He was definitely more scared of this than me. He was nervous, talking to people on the ground while they watched the plane go back and forth to gain altitude. He was sitting there and this black cat just comes right over to him. He's not superstitious, but apparently this freaked him out a little bit. My sister told me he pet the cat for the rest of the wait until they heard the pilot radio down "1 minute." He says he went out to look for the plane, which he could hear but not see, and he said his pulse rate went up really fast.
We have very different epinephrine brain responses to these things, it's apparent :P
Back to the plane, at 10,000 feet.
The guy with the camera (I wish I could remember their names!) climbs out first. He makes it out, then turns around to record me.
I don't remember being scared at this point either, because of how much I was focused on getting out of the plane. It was pretty hard, physically. Fighting the wind and holding on, getting my right foot over to accommodate my left foot, because I am short so my legs are short too! It wasn't terribly easy, but I think I got out there pretty quickly.
I hold on while the much more experienced tandem partner got out fast and he yelled at me to bring in my arms, but I couldn't hear him. (On the ground, I realized how pressurized my ears were and I couldn't hear jack until I popped them....moments after Kevin started talking to me) So he had to break the grip of my right hand, but he only had to pry off one hand! :p
I crossed my arms, got into position and he said 1, 2, and ARCH!
We jumped and rolled and spun, and I thought, OMG I am skydiving!!! I'm really doing this!!!
The guy videotaping was right out in front of me. He was kind of far, I think about 20-30 feet and he pulled in his arms and flew over to us. He started to wave at me, and I tried to wave, but only flailed a bit. I was "Woooo-ing" my lungs out but no one could hear me. And breathing was pretty difficult too. I had plenty of oxygen, but the air rushing into my nostrils and mouth had almost a solid effect on me, and I best describe it like the feeling of getting water up your nose. If you have ever tried to breathe in water, that uncomfortable feeling in your sinuses is what it most feels like. Pool water up the nose.
The fall was over way way too soon. It wasn't like flying, it did feel like I weighed nothing, however. It supposedly lasted 20-30 seconds. It felt like only a moment. Over too quickly for me. Kevin said it felt like a minute, he could see the specks and didn't feel safe until the chute opened.
The parachute opening sounds like a flag waving violently in the wind. And all of a sudden, it was quiet. And the guy videotaping kept descending and only then did I get any relative idea of how fast I had been going. He was so far in just a few seconds! Then his chute opened, but by this time I as experiencing different things.
I could see the whole city of Columbus and some other towns here and there. A big lake called Deer Creek and a layer of dark brown cloud, possibly smog, out in the distance. Eew, Ohio.
But it was lower than us for a very short time.
The guy asked me if I wanted to have a leisure glide down or do some spins. He tried one out as we practiced the landing flare. It was awesome! The left strap was pulled down, then let up and you pulled the right one down really hard. You started to spin in a tight circle. You were facing down and your legs went out, and the centrifugal force was neat.
We came in for the landing and he told me to hit the ground running, but I screwed up and took a few steps then landed on my knees. I'll bet he lands that way a lot. I apologized profusely, but was greeted by Kevin and my sister. I saw them making their way out into the field as I was coming down. The plane was also landing so they had to stand still so to not be run over.
It was the best present I have ever received. It was nothing like I thought it would be, since I had never experienced many of the sensations before, so I didn't really have anything to compare it to. The feelings are just unique. I can't wait to do it again.
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06:02 pm
[Link] | My sister in law, the one who I wrote about a few weeks ago died this morning. At only 31.
Fuck my fucking dream and fuck the goddamn world.
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09:54 pm
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The ride of my life
Kevin reserved my skydiving appointment for the 4th.
I had wanted to go the day before, and could have, but for $150.00 more. We don't have that kind of cash flow right now, but this is really important for me, so he's making it happen.
Yes, I will be turning 30 in two weeks.
If all goes well, I'll also be turning 31 next year ^_~
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05:38 am
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Don LaFontaine
I don't usually do this (Carlin was my idol, so he was more of a personal loss), but I am really going to miss this guy.
Don LaFontaine, the man most of you know as "The Movie Trailer Voice" has passed away. I have always been a voice chaser. There's no one who sounds like him to me.
You will be missed.
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08:28 pm
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There she is 4 is out already!
You just have to watch it. I won't give my reaction here. Maybe in the comments.
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04:12 am
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A new Ranma???
Am I last to know? If I am, forgive me.
This did rock my world a bit.
<a href="http://firefox.org/news/articles/1710/1/A-New-Ranma-12-Short-Debuts-at-Rumiko-Takahashis-Its-a-Rumic-World-Exhibit/Page1.html>
Even if it is just a short, it's been 12 years. And that is just plain cool. I was hoping they would make some more after Tenchi (did not care for the 3rd OVA there though :/ ) and I loved the wrap up to the Kimagure orange Road series.
Ranma. May I have some more, please?
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07:00 am
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Tiny Toons on DVD??!!
Apparently it came on DVD at the end of July!
Not to sound ungrateful, but...
IT'S ABOUT TIME!
Woohoo!
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07:09 pm
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Have we done one of these lately?
I haven't seen enough memes floating around lately, so I stole something off of somethingawful and I'm putting you to work.
Jung Typology Test
That's a personality test.
Here are my results:
I'm a INFJ The counselor type.
Yeah, I can see that.
Oh yeah. I should probably post my results since you will all probably get different ones:
Here is a brief summary of my type:
Beneath the quiet exterior, INFJs hold deep convictions about the weightier matters of life. Those who are activists -- INFJs gravitate toward such a role -- are there for the cause, not for personal glory or political power.
INFJs are champions of the oppressed and downtrodden. They often are found in the wake of an emergency, rescuing those who are in acute distress. INFJs may fantasize about getting revenge on those who victimize the defenseless. The concept of 'poetic justice' is appealing to the INFJ.
"There's something rotten in Denmark." Accurately suspicious about others' motives, INFJs are not easily led. These are the people that you can rarely fool any of the time. Though affable and sympathetic to most, INFJs are selective about their friends. Such a friendship is a symbiotic bond that transcends mere words.
INFJs have a knack for fluency in language and facility in communication. In addition, nonverbal sensitivity enables the INFJ to know and be known by others intimately.
Writing, counseling, public service and even politics are areas where INFJs frequently find their niche.
I found the following to be uncanny:
Blessed with vivid imaginations, Counselors are often seen as the most poetical of all the types, and in fact they use a lot of poetic imagery in their everyday language. Their great talent for language-both written and spoken-is usually directed toward communicating with people in a personalized way. Counselors are highly intuitive and can recognize another's emotions or intentions - good or evil - even before that person is aware of them. Counselors themselves can seldom tell how they came to read others' feelings so keenly. This extreme sensitivity to others could very well be the basis of the Counselor's remarkable ability to experience a whole array of psychic phenomena.
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01:48 pm
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Last pony post, I swear to someone else's god.
Ok, just one more. The blue and pink ones aren't done shading wise. I like black and purple, so that one gets a background of sorts. The orange/yellow one is next. After that, I think I am done with this particular image :)
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01:45 am
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What the hell??? The new Futurama Movie came out yesterday??!!
Yeah, I am holding it right now. I had NO freaking clue it was going to come out.
Kevin and I were walking through walmart (looking for the TV Funhouse DVD of all things) and I saw the box and said "What the crap?"
I LOVE this show, bought the Bender's Big Score on it's release date and I was expecting this DVD to come out in the fall maybe. I thought maybe some walmart employee put it out by mistake, bought it right away and went looking on the interweb for any information about it.
I watched the all new season of South Park on Comedy Central and all the new Family Guy and American Dad episodes this past May. I never saw a commercial or advert for it anywhere...you'd think that the people who have such deep pockets would WANT it to make money. But the stereotype of television execcs being dumbasses is no myth.
Futurama and Adult Swim are quickly becoming parables of the Goose that laid the golden eggstory. Comedy Central is the greedy goose slayer :/
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05:50 am
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Thank you George Carlin.
I know I'm a jackass sometimes when it comes to responding to the loss of a great talented or influential person. I know in the last few weeks we've lost a lot of talented folks, some knew they were near the end and others were tragically caught unawares.
But I felt something when Kevin told me George Carlin died of a heart attack this morning. He was knocked senseless, saw it on the SA forums and didn't believe it. He showed me the headline and I kind of felt like I lost the ability to read, since the words before me didn't make any sense.
I have only felt this way over a few people who have died in my lifetime, who I didn't know personally. I have cried countless tears over the suffering of strangers, but I have never wept for the loss of a person as an individual. But I guess I just feel I really lost someone I look up to and I'll never get to hear his insight or perspective again, anew.
George Carlin was an atheist and so am I. I don't think he's anywhere right now, his consciousness was numbed and extinguished and is gone. He rests like we will all someday rest. But time continues after we are gone. A lucky few get to leave their presence and their essence. One that outlives the flesh of offspring or the memory of one's friends. It's an imprint left on a culture, it's books and it's stories. I know he was a comedian, but he was an author too. I learned things from him and laughed and wondered and questioned my mind over the things he introduced to me, personally. I know he did this for other people too. I feel he did. Collectively, he will be remembered for a very long, long time. It's my most treasured hope that I may be able to do so as well.
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03:05 am
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Pony!
This is a commision gone too far.
It was fun at least.
It'll be fun to color too.
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07:42 pm
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Im in ur f-list, buyin ur luv
Ok, here is my impression of a neglectful parent who is always away on business and then comes back into your life, hands you a present, and then leaves again.
Here are your gifts!
This is the 3 part (out of a confirmed 5!!!) of the Korean "There she is" flash cartoons by sambakza. That guy just keeps getting better:
And this is probably the funniest thing I have ever seen. Even if you don't know what portal is (makes things a ton funnier though) if you have ever held a job, I am sure you will get the humor.
Ok kids, Misty's going to leave for the airport while you're sleeping so I'll say goodbye to you now and maybe next time I come back, we'll get you a puppy!
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10:47 am
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The post I almost didn't make : Furry Art
The following is cross posted from a forum I visit where the member base sadly discovered the dark side of anthro art for the first time.
I thought about posting this here long ago because there are some among you whom I respect and like and who have since ALSO discovered the dark side of anthro art, the "furries". The following is most a cut and paste job, so you will see I am speaking to the audience there. It has bothered me for awhile actually that some of you may have thought I "became a furry" when I did not. I am just the bystander to a fetish clashing with a long standing cartoon form and dealing with a tarnished image because of it.
**********
I am not a "furry". I am an artist (not a great one by any stretch but I draw) and I illustrate an anthromorphic web comic. The character page is below for you to see what I mean.
I would just like to try to inform some of you who may not have come across this kind of stuff before and may forever look at funny animal drawings as a cover for some twisted fetish. To be blunt, anthromorphic art gets a way worse rap on the interweb than it deserves.
Not everyone who plays video games is a drug addicted basement dweller with no life. Not everyone who likes anime is into whacking off to little girl pictures. Not everyone who like star wars, star trek or RPG card games is a hopeless virgin. And not everyone who likes anthromorphic art is some animal-sexed crazed fetish fiend. Sadly, the internet and MTV have done their best to convince people otherwise.
I've been drawing animals and animal people since I was 5. Yeah, 25 years ago. I know because I still keep art I made in kindergarten. That was LONG before the internet and long before "furries". I liked Disney characters and I loved Warner Brother cartoons. Still do. I love animation. I imagine that a lot of this anthro genre came about because of my peers who liked it too, but I know that people drawing animals as people existed since the turn of the 20th century...but then I have seen art from 500 years ago that has gods turning into ducks and steers and the stories about them getting it on with human ladies. But, now we have the internet and it's full of those people connecting with each other and horrifying the populace with their fetish art.
If you have been around the internet, you have almost surely come across "Rule 34", even if you didn't realize it. That is the macro based term for the fact that there is porn of everything. EVERYTHING. I've seen porn of walmart "doing" target. I've seen United Airlines pounding Southwest Airlines. (Thanks something awful, though I really can't blame you, I clicked on the forum thread so I deserved it *_*) Porn even exists of furniture. Yes, really. Some people are messed up in the head and they have fetishes. But, when someone says "I love planes", I don't immediately think "You sick bastard!".
It's just not fair to judge hobbies or interests by the people who sexualize it or turn it into a fetish. Anthro art included.
Despite all of this, I myself will never go to a "furry" convention. I would be uncomfortable to say the least. Aside from this comic that I draw, I have no interest in "anthro". I can't even say that it's a part of who I am, it's just something I like because it's fun to draw animals, it's fun to read books with animal characters, and this comic is a lot of fun to draw. I don't write it, I just illustrate it. And it just pains me when I see people go on about how sick furries are. Why should it bother me if I am not a furry? Because I get lumped in with them by people who don't know any better. I am as perplexed as anyone who doesn't get how that stuff is arousing. I don't understand people who involve feces, vomit or urine in their sex life either, but to each their own so long as no innocent people (or animals) get caught up in their fetish.
I really don't think drawing animal people is something to be ashamed of or want to hide. My mom likes to show people my web comic. Thankfully, she's never heard of Rule 34 either, so she's allowed to be proud without being grossed out. She is allowed to enjoy it in the same way I enjoyed those saturday morning cartoon shows with duck, turtle and bunny people. And it's the way I still do too.
Here are half of the characters, inked and uncolored:
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06:19 pm
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First Car Chase!
No, not us, maybe someday though.
We are on I-20 in South Carolina right now, just passed mile marker 122. We are going west, the chasse was on the other side, east bound.
Not really much to report, and it's hard to conclude what was going on, but here were the facts.
Silver 4 door, late 90's early 2000's Toyota Camry. Going down the road on the other side, 65-70 MPH. State Trooper following with lights and headlights going...the guy was a middle eastern looking late 20's male (not being racist, I would describe his race no matter what it was). About a mile and a half behind them (exit 120 or so) there was another trooper who had pulled over a white sedan and was speaking to the driver from that car's passenger side.
Don't know what is going on, if I can find any news stories on this, I'll post it.
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04:14 am
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...what...the heck?
It's been a heckuva long time since I was in elementary school, and the building then was built in the early 60's. So I guess it's no surprise there would be a new building built before too long.
The longaberger company built a new high school that my class was the first to use from freshman to senior year, so maybe it's not too weird when a private enterprise gets involved in the building and dedication of a new school. But...look who it is doing the ceremony and blessing:
The Masons???"
Keep in mind the town this is in; it has one traffic light and the population is so small it actually qualifies as a village. I actually grew up on a farm 5 miles from this place and not much has changed since I lived there more than 10 years ago. It's weird to see the Masons doing anything, including dedicating a new school there....But yet, thinking to the demographic of the village itself, somehow it doesn't surprise me the Masons are involved somehow.
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